


Not A Monster

by eldrvarya



Category: Satan and Me (Webcomic)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 01:10:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14249826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eldrvarya/pseuds/eldrvarya
Summary: This wasn't right. This wasn't how she was supposed to look at him.Lucifer's thoughts after realizing Natalie doesn't remember him.





	Not A Monster

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little drabble because I reread the comic and now I have feelings

_ Please, just let me go, Mr. Monster. _

He couldn’t get it out of his head. He couldn’t forget the look on her face, the tone of her voice, the words she had said, and somehow… somehow all of that had hurt even more than the wounds still bleeding on his back.

_ …just let me go, Mr. Monster. _

Even when their contract had just begun, when he had appeared in her bathroom, she hadn’t looked so terrified. She may have been scared at first, of course, but she took the news that he was Satan and bound to her surprisingly well for a human. She just accepted that the actual devil lived on a bean bag chair in her room.

_ Please, just let me go… _

He remembers telling her once that he expects death. That no single individual would affect him when they died. She’s human, of course she was going to die. And he would move on with his existence, and might forget her after so long. He wouldn’t feel anything, a lie he had told even himself for so long. Now, anytime he caught his own reflection, he knew the gentle purple glow of his ear rings gave away the despair he felt.

She wasn’t supposed to die for awhile. And it certainly wasn’t going to be his fault. It had practically become his job to make sure this human–his human–stayed alive. So it wasn’t a hard decision to give up his wings for her. Before, when she was just sick, he had options. He could find another path to keep her alive. But the moment he shook her and she hadn’t moved… she had been so cold… Nothing else had mattered in that moment.

He remembers taking her to the coast, laughing to himself as he waited for her to climb up the side of the cliff. He remembers how amazed she looked when she finally looked out at the horizon, and how he told her to never ask something of him again. He hadn’t quite realized at the time that she didn’t need to ask for anything else, that he would give it freely.

_ … Mr. Monster. _

She had called him a monster. A word she had never once used to describe him, especially not after he told her not to say it. Even when he had tried to disobey the contract, when Hell had taken over, she hadn’t said he was a monster. When it was all over, and she had brought him back, she still hadn’t called him a monster. She had said that Hell was a part of him, but that didn’t make him a monster. That was somehow something she was so adamant about, that he was good.

_ You’re like my guardian angel. _

That’s what she had said that day on the beach. It had caught him so off guard, he hadn’t known what to say. He supposed in a way, she was his guardian as well. She always stood up for him, even against Hell itself. She could have asked for anything in the world, and she used her contract to help him, to quiet the constant chattering in his head, to give him some semblance of peace.

“I’m going to get you back, kid,” he muttered, watching over her sleeping form.

_ I’m glad I got to meet someone like you. _

She was too important for him to lose. Especially not like this, not with her thinking he was a monster, that he would do anything to hurt her.

She shifted in her sleep, muttering something under her breath, too soft for him to catch. She looked like nothing had ever happened. Like she hadn’t died, hadn’t forgotten who he was.

No. He wasn’t losing her like this.

_ I love you, Lucifer. _

He should have told her then how much he cared for her.

“I swear to you, Natalie, I’m going to get you back.”

And when he did, he swore he would tell her as many times as she would let him how much he loved her.


End file.
